Full of Boys

Finding the adventure in the blues, greens and grays of life!

Still Directing me February 23, 2011

Filed under: Faith,Friends — fullofboys @ 3:41 pm

Yesterday I made a pretty routine phone call to my friend. We talk about once a week, sometimes more. I’ve known her since I was 5 years old. We used to live 2 houses apart, we know live more that 2 states apart.

But a phone call connects us and sometimes it feels as if we were sitting over coffee catching up on day to day life. I have cried with her, I have even sat in silence on the phone with her. We laugh and talk and for a few minutes each week, no miles can separate us.

Yesterday, I was sharing how I was feeling a little intimidated. I am beginning to look for a job outside being a mommy. My youngest starts school this fall and I have been planning to work once he was in school. For the first time in a long time I feel insecure. It isn’t that I do not feel I have talents or gifts. I feel very competent in many areas and I feel I know exactly ehat my strengths and weaknesses are. Nope, it has to do with the lack of one thing: a degree.

I should stop right there and tell you I have no desire to go back to school….at all. My mentor, Tom, would tell me all the time that I could go back but I do not desire to do so.

But, the lack of a degree sometimes makes me question if I can be asset in the workplace anymore. I am surely not who I was 10 years ago. When faced with the decision to continue on to college (after only 4 credit hours) or work, I chose the office over the classroom. I loved my job and I moved up in the company. I learned a lot of hands on training that could never have been taught with a blackboard. But I never got the degree.

And yet, 10 years ago, I was confident I was making the right choice. I felt sure that God was directing me. Little did I know that I would soon be married and a mom…but HE DID! So when Christy said this sentence, I felt like a bomb went off in front of me:

” God didn’t lead you to make that decision 10 years ago only to abandon you now”

In her quiet, encouraging way, I felt God say ‘Hello! Don’t you know I am with you?!? I am not abandoning you. I am not leaving to tread water. I am still directing your steps if you let me.’

It was truth I already knew in my head and heart but that had been drowned out by fears.

A simple sentence that spokes paragraphs to my heart. I felt so peaceful as I realized that God would indeed take me where He could use me and would indeed direct my steps. And I felt so thankful for a friend who was willing to be a wonderful mouthpiece for what God needed me to hear.


One Response to “Still Directing me”

  1. Girl God as used you equally in my life! I LOVE YOU TONS AND TONS! xoxo
    Can’t wait to see what God has in store for you!

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