Full of Boys

Finding the adventure in the blues, greens and grays of life!

Sometimes to go forward April 15, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — fullofboys @ 8:43 pm
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Sometimes to go forward you have to go back to where you came from. I have to be honest with you all that I do not keep in touch with many of my high school friends. Maybe 2 or 3 I still talk to but that is it. The reason for this may or may not have had something to do with a boy, a break up and people taking sides. I chose to just not deal with the petty drama around those times and I moved on. Lately, Facebook and Myspace have had me evaluating those ‘friends’ as they often send friend requests. Sometimes I leave a friend request waiting for days or even weeks as I really try to decide if I am ready to let them into my virtual world.

Recently, the facebook world brought back into my life Marysol. Now, just to set the record straight, she missed a good portion of that drama and it was just distance and age (because in high school 2 years is like a decade) that separated us. She and her husband, DeWet, were the ones to lead the Cape to Cairo Challenge and currently reside in South Africa. However, they are in the states for a few weeks and I had the chance to squeeze in a lunch with her. I say squeeze because I know she wants to visit family and tons of people were pulling at her. I want to tell you that I learned new things about her while we sat for a little over an hour.

* Living in South Africa is not just a ‘job’ it is her home. She talks about it with possibilities and she has s park in her eye as she shares about how she would like to raise a family there.
* The people matter to her…and not just for a month to two. In fact, her exact words to me were ‘we want to work ourselves out of a job here’. She and her husband believe that their calling is to train the local people how to share the gospel and disciple other people.
*Humility emits from her as she shared with me how God continued to provide for them.
* Community is just as important there as it is here…maybe even more so. She tells me that while they have a vacuum it is rarely at their house. Instead it floats from one place to another so that everyone can use it. The same is true with a muffin tin. Imagine the relationships that are formed from that!

More importantly, I learned that it is ok to ‘go back’. Sometimes I get so caught up in the pain and let downs of life that I refuse to go back and see the joy and gifts that God has brought into my life. And it is just not high school but life in general. The baggage from life’s hurts and disappointments can weigh so heavy that I miss the great things that happened in those moments. The fact is, had that boy not come into my life and then been out of my life I would never had appreciated Heath and I would never have known who my true friends were. I would never have had to struggle with finding myself but I also would not be as confident as I am today. Sometimes you just have to ‘go back’ in order to realize that those moments are what took you forward.

What moments did you experience life’s hurts/pain and what did you gain ?

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4 Responses to “Sometimes to go forward”

  1. Ladybird Says:

    I am on the other end of the spectrum:

    I hurt a friend…a close friend. I was selfish and mean. I knew the ramifications of my actions and I did it anyway, because I was young and I was an idiot. But, that act made me re-evaluate myself. Who had a I become? How could I make myself better?

    And I changed. I am not now, nor will I ever be, the person that I was. I am a work in progress…daily. If that friend would now give me a chance, she would see that. No matter how much I appologize, some people won’t ever allow you to change in their minds. Unfortunatnly I don’t have the nerve to ask her to ‘friend me’ on Facebook. I don’t think that she will ever know the person that I am now, because of her closed mind. I have forgiven her of that. I just wish that she could forgive me for something stupid that I did years and years ago.

  2. Ladybird Says:

    I didn’t mean to get on my soapbox. Sorry.
    I am in complete awe of your friend Marysol! What a wonderous journey she is making her life! How wonderful life would be if we all had the same ‘community’ as her!

  3. Crys Says:

    I spent so much time trying to run away from where I started that I’m now amazed that I am right back at the beginning of where I started. It’s amazing the things you can learn when you just sit and listen. Your friend sounds likes she’s had quite a journey so far. And yes, it is totally OK to go back.

  4. Marysol Says:

    Jenn, I apologize I didn’t see this sooner, my RSS feeder had some glitches. WOW. Well I’m really flattered to hear your perspective. Its encouraging to hear WHAT exactly comes across. Thanks so much for “going back” with me, it was cathardic to reunite with so many old friends on this trip. Your post is important to think about. In some ways history helps us define who our true friends are and that’s an important jounrey. I’m glad to know you are going back and forward. It was such a refreshing blessing to hang out with you. Hoping to meet Heath on a future trip. -M


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