The gap between the current me and the imagined me, the one that I believe that God created in His image, is huge. I admit it. There are times when that gap feels like a simple jump from one to another but there are times where the chasm feels wider than the Grand Canyon. And as much as it stinks to admit it, I think I am closer to the canyon right now than to the jump. I find it sad that it took me so long to realize how much distance formed.
We are in a series called Backseat Jesus right now at church…basically we are talking about how to move Jesus to the front seat of our lives. First, I should tell you that I was pretty convinced he was driving my life…up until a couple weeks ago. I actually realized that he is not in fact driving…and sometimes I think he just might be hanging on the bumper as I speed along. Ouch!
See, here is the thing. I fully believe Christ is who he says he is. I fully believe that he gave his life for me, a sinner, and that through his grace and mercy I am saved. I believe that His love is what has seen me through some of my darkest days and that His hands were the ones that held me as I wrestled with my demons. I firmly trust that He is the same yesterday, today and forever. I believe that I am new, and renewed, in Him and that daily I have the chance to share his character and heart with everyone that I encounter.
All of that sounds so great and put together…and all of it is true. Yet, when things are going so well I tend to just toss him in the back like a little trinket. I fill my day with emails and calls and other things instead of diving into his word. I miss the chance to forge ahead in my relationship with Him because I am filling my days up.
Pete made a comment recently that totally wrecked my life and began to transform the way I perceived Sunday mornings. His comment was along the lines of ‘if you are expecting Sunday mornings to close that gap then you are missing it’. Now, truth be told I think he finished it a bit differently but I was hit hared by that because many times I am expecting Sunday mornings to be like a shot of java for my week.
How in the world can my relationship with Christ truly grow if I am not giving the relationship any time? It is a tough question for me to ask myself because it means that I have to admit that I have not been investing enough time but I know that the answer is easier.
Sunday mornings are just going to be a starting point to my week from now on…and I plan to invest in my relationship with Christ. Because I still believe all that stuff above…and now I want to be sure that all my actions are laced with His character and that His hands are guiding me down the road.