With Christmas soon upon us my house has been filled with the ‘I wants’ more than anything else. We have been as purposeful as possible to remind the boys that the gifts at Christmas time are great but it is the gift of Christ that should bring us the most joy. The gift of family should be following quickly behind that. I am sure that at 2, 4, and 6 that is still a hard concept to grasp. However, I see in Isaiah that he is beginning to understand it. I must admit that I get wrapped up in the gifts at this time of year too. To be honest, I love gifts. It is my love language for sure. Yet something changed about 9 years ago. Something that would make me realize that Heath was the man that I would marry. At that time I had discovered the album ’40 Acres’ by Caedmon’s Call. It was really an album that fitted the time I life I was in. My favorite song had been ‘Somewhere North’. It was a beautiful love song about a man and a woman that were apart and the desire to see one another. Yet, it was also about being enough for each other…without all the material things.
The chorus says: And I give you my life and all I am. But what have I to give? So I hand you a candid photograph of this little boy cause I have nothing to my name. But I can give you that
Those words would haunt my thoughts. Slowly God was building in my heart this outlook that would take away the gifts and make the heart worth more. Heath was very familiar with the album and the song. Just a few weeks after we started dating he gave me a picture. A simple picture that I still have in a box that still means more than a thousand other gifts. It was a simple candid photograph. I placed that picture in a box of memories. I have since pulled it out a few times. When we were pregnant with Isaiah and I was scared out of my mind I pulled it out. We were not sure where we were going to live with a baby and we had no idea how we would afford anything for him. I remembered that picture and went to retrieve it. It was comforting.
The best gift I ever received was Heath…completely him. His heart is what has given me comfort more often that I realize. He has seen me through three pregnancies…and every complication during and after them. He has seen me through the death of my grandmother. He has walked with me through hospital corridors as I visited my mother between treatments. He has carried me when I have buckled under the pressure of life. He has pushed me toward God when I sometimes could not even crawl to him. He has held my hand as fear and worry ripped through my body and he has calmed my nerves when the fears took too much control.
The boys may not see it now but I hope to one day express to them how much Heath means to me. Not just as a father to them or a husband to me but as my best friend. I want them to know what love has done to me and how it has forever changed me. I want to encourage them to look for that kind of transforming love in their future wives.
What do you want your children to know?