We recently wrapped up a series at church called ‘Dream Job’. God really worked on my heart during this series. There were several reasons. For some reason I do not think I fully embraced ‘being a mom’ as enough…I surely never saw it as my purpose. Yet, God is molding my heart to become more sure of His calling in my life as a mom. I have a lot to get to with this series. Over the next month or so I plan to share with you some of things that I feel God really taught me and revealed to me. I wanted to start with something that struck me fresh. And by fresh I mean left me in tears in the service as I began to repent for some of the ways I have treated my boys…some of the impossible standards I had set in motion in their lives.
It all started with Pete reading 1 Corinthians 13 from The Message. How horrible is it that I almost checked out at that point in the service. I had to take off my ‘I know that passage already’ hat and really dig in. At first it was the same things I knew, love is patient, kind, etc. I felt like I was hearing and old record played. But then, as it usually does with God, something happens. What it is I have no idea but something keeps me listening…something keeps me grasping. We read the rest of the passage and I felt tears well up in my eyes. They came on so sudden that there was no way to hold them back…I just let them flow freely. There were 5 things that stuck out in this passage…5 things that I circled that will forever change me (I hope!).
* Love doesn’t fly off the handle
* Love takes pleasure in the flowering of truth
* Love puts up with anything
* Love always looks for the best
* Love never looks back, but keeps going to the end
Maybe I was just ready to hear those words that day. Maybe I was looking for a definition of what it is to be a mom. Maybe I was just looking for Christ to reveal himself a little more intimately to me that day. I think it might have been all of those things.
Even now, I am fighting back tears. Those 5 things hit me hard as I struggle (almost daily) with those areas. Love is giving my children patience when I feel my quick temper button has been pressed so many times it is broken. Love is encouraging my children to be honest with everything and allowing them the freedom to share that honesty. Love is cleaning up sheets and bathroom covered in vomit and refereeing every battle of toys, food and friends. Love continues to encourage my boys to find their strengths and helping them to pursue their God given talents. Love is constantly aware of the end, the end of toddlers, adolescents and teen years and remembering that God has given me today to be Christ in their life.
For some reason, being a mom became relevant. It had a definition to me. It had a purpose. I had a map almost of what God would want me to instill in the lives of my boys. For the first time, I let being a mom define me…not using the mom as a classification. Here I am 6 years after my first child and I still struggle with this.
Would you add anything to the list what it is to be a mom?