Full of Boys

Finding the adventure in the blues, greens and grays of life!

Seeing it all October 3, 2008

Filed under: Family — fullofboys @ 7:01 am
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* They have my back when needed.
* They drive me crazy.
* They have seen the horrible fashion choices I made (and probably laughed about it).
* They pick on me at the dinner table.
* They have seen my cry in angst. They are some of the few that have seen me laugh until I cry.
* They have celebrated my marriage and my children with me.

They are my sister, Becca, and brother, Stephen.

I married at 19. When I moved out my sister was 17 and my brother was 12. I still feel like I missed so much of life with them. After I married I quickly became a mom and all my ‘sister things’ took a back seat.

Becca and I have always been close…kidding! To me, my sister was perfect. She was always a straight A, never really study kind of person. I was the do what you have to so that you can pass and not have dad and mom on your case all the time kind of kid. She can still put her mind to something and accomplish it. She completely intimidated me. She was (and still is) hilarious and she always could stump me with her vocabulary (pharmacology, anyone?)! At times, we just seemed so different in life. Somewhere in my last couple years at home I began to appreciate her. We still did not like the same music, we still had different friends and we still had different goals. However, she became one of my best friends. When I married, she was my maid of honor. Growing up I had always thought I would ask her because it was the proper thing to do for your sister. For my wedding, I asked her because I could not imagine anyone that would support me more than she would. She was the last person in the bride’s room with me before I walked down the aisle. I had a freak out moment and began to tear up and she calmed me down with her humor. It is a moment that to her I am sure has faded. To me, that moment is etched in my memory. Life has thrown us both a bunch of curve balls. Sometimes we have hit them out of the park and celebrated new journeys and discoveries with each other. Other times, we fell flat on our faces and cried…well, I cried. She probably did too but she always was the strong one for me when I felt weak. Now states away and months between visits and I miss her often. I last saw her in July…almost 7 months since the last visit. Thanksgiving can not come soon enough!

And then there is Stephen. For the longest time, he was my little shadow. I think he slept more on the floor in my room than he did his room for a couple years of life. He was such a little guy when I left home and I really missed his teen years. He just seemed quiet to me and reserved. I wondered if he ever trusted me. I also wondered if I had let him down by moving so early. In the last couple years, things have changed. Don’t ask me when because I have no idea. I do know that when he graduated high school, my dad called me. They were putting together a list of things that we remembered about Stephen while he was growing up (Nyquil!). As I shared some of my memories I began to realize that I missed the chance to not just be his sister but his friend. I often wondered if a friendship would ever come with us. God completely answered my prayers by allowing things to happen in his life and have me available. I do think he trusts me now…I am not sure he always agrees with my advice or opinions but he does still ask for them. He is now out of state and I wonder how I will keep that relationship alive (thank goodness for facebook!). And just when I start to wonder if I should reach out to him, he sends me a message.

I miss both of them…my boys miss them too! I have entered a new phase of life where my family is not all in one place. It is hard but I must tell you it is exciting! They both have the huge life changing opportunities before them. They have both grown in the Lord more since they have been away and it is an honor to get to see what God does in them and through them.

What kind of relationship do you have with your siblings?

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One Response to “Seeing it all”

  1. Morocco Says:

    I wish I had a decent relationship with all of my siblings. I am the oldest child out of six. I have two sisters and three brothers. I get along pretty good with my second oldest brother (29), even though we rarely see each other. He lives in a different city. My middle brother (27)…well, I am raising his daughter. We have had a pretty turbulent relationship, especially after he became an adult. My youngest brother (19) and I have gotten a little closer since my mother died.

    I get along okay with my middle sister (25)as well. We have had periods in which we did not talk for a long while. Not to mention, she ran away at age 15 and we did not see her again until she was 18. That was a very painful period.

    (21) and I barely communicate. I have no idea why–as I’ve tried to bond with her many, many times. It really makes me sad.

    It is awesome that you have good relationships with both of your siblings.


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