This past Sunday was an amazing Sunday for me. While serving as the Kidz World Interim Director, I rarely have the opportunity to get into a service during the praise and worship time. There are Sundays I actually only catch Pete’s message via CD (thank goodness for recordings!). This week however, my friend Sherry really encouraged me to break away from Kidz World and get into service at the beginning. This week’s message was about Syncing to God through worship. I honestly thought I had this all figured out already. The times I feel closest to God are most definitely surround by music of some sort. I just let the music envelope me and I feel secure in the the arms of God. I can’t explain it other than I always feel vulnerable during those moments, moments where I feel I am one on one with my Savior.
And then Pete speaks, and I am totally aware that I have missed so much about worship. He completely challenged me that worship is not about the music or stage. It has nothing to do with lights or voices. It has to do with my heart. Worship can take place daily, any place, any time.
The song sung next was Inside Out. A few of the lyrics:
My heart and my soul
I give you control
Consume me from the inside out, Lord
Let justice and praise
Become my embrace
To love you from the inside out
I let my heart free that morning and sang that song out with every fiber in me. You see, I decided to let God truly consume me…inside out. I can’t tell you how many times I sang that song and thought I understood it but Sunday was something different. Many times I live from the outside in, rather than the inside out. I make my choices based on need or want rather than allowing God to completely direct me.
Dave shared with us the story of Moses with his arms outstretched during battle. As long as his arms were raised, God was allowing the Israelites to prevail. As him arms fell, the Israelites began to lose. How many times have I simply allowed my arms to fall…not from weakness but from busyness? I stood there in a high school aditurium on Sunday in the presence of a God who was still taking His time with me. My arms were outstretched and tears were pouring from my eyes. Words could barely come from my mouth. I simply stood there with my Savior. I simply let him consume me, from the inside out.
It was painful, it was wonderful. I realized how much I focused on myself instead of Him. I choose daily to do get busy and never spend a moment in His presence. It reminded me of a song that we did at my sister’s church when I went to visit her. It is called Ready Now. Take a listen.
I am ready now to be inside out….are you?