Full of Boys

Finding the adventure in the blues, greens and grays of life!

Having all boys July 2, 2008

Filed under: children,Faith,Family — fullofboys @ 8:45 pm
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Lately I have had a number of people ask my most dreaded question. I dread it so much that I always have my answers planned in advance. The question is ‘So, are you going to try for a girl?’.

Yes, I have all boys. No, it is not the way I envisioned motherhood. Yes, I am happy and no, I am not looking for an opportunity to become a human incubator again. Ok, those are not my answers but sometimes I wish I could say them. The question for me borders on irritation to simple frustration.

The fact of the matter is I grew up believing I would one day have a little girl to raise. I looked forward to the bows and ribbons. I thought that painting nails and learning about make up would be a fun event in our house. I also figured that a boy would fit into the equation…somewhere. Never in my thoughts did I think I would have only boys. To say the least, it has been sobering. Raising boys is completely different from girls. And by different I do not mean that they tend to laugh at obscure body noises or make anything into a weapon!

With three boys in different stages of live, they are all unique and wonderful. Yet it is with Isaiah that I am learning the most. He thinks, he ponders and he worries more than he should. He feels deeply and emotions come freely for him. He also loves to be his daddy’s shadow. Mention camping, building or fishing and he is at the door in no time ready to head out on another adventure. Almost 6 and he is like a little man taking off into the unknown. He is full of excitement as he experiences the mystery. He is also pulling away from me. This has been hard to except.  It has been a slow progression for about 2 years (one that Joel is beginning now). I spent many a night crying about it.

Just to be clear, it isn’t that he is not wanting hugs or kisses or that he doesn’t like me. It is completely different and yet completely ok. As my boys grow older I want them to learn to stand on their own feet. Sometimes literally (like learning how to clean a bathroom and do their own laundry) but also spiritually. The Bible says that a man will leave his parents and marry a wife. Did you catch that, the man leaves. I want my sons to grow up not depending so much on me that the leaving part is hard. Well, I hope it is a little hard! :)

Heath’s mom has been a wonderful example of this to me. Now, if you ask Heath, his mom is a saint. She is an amazing woman who instilled a lot of great qualities into him. Yet, she let him go. I am sure it hurt at times as she watched her little boy grow into a young man and realize that she was simply the starting point for his dreams. There were dreams and goals he would achieve on his own, without her guidance or wisdom. She let him walk down an aisle (with eyes filled with tears I am sure) and marry into my family. She accepted me as a daughter. Even now, she lets him go. Let’s him think, ponder and worry.

The fact is that no, we will not try for a girl or a boy.  And I am coming to grips with this more and more each day. It is hard to think of being a mom without a little girl bopping along side me. And yet, I realize that I have three guys in my house that need me. They need me to let go sometimes, let them test their own wings. I hope they always feel like home was a haven, shelter from the storm. I pray they know that God is our Rock, on Him our faith and trust is built. I want them to know that I am happy to be their mom, thrilled that God gave them all to me. Girl or no girl, they are precious treasures that I would not trade or give back. And I am happy to let them go, find their new mysteries and explore the unknowns.

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12 Responses to “Having all boys”

  1. GLAD to see you back in the blogging world!! You are SUPER busy lately… got your hands full w/your boys AND church! I feel for ya sister!! :)
    Now I’ll be able to keep tabs on ya!!

  2. jodi Says:

    This is a bittersweet post. My little man turned 3 today. He still wants his Mama by his side, and I’m eating it up for as long as I can. I too realize what the Bible says that’s in my future. I don’t want to think about that today! :)

  3. I always tell my boys “never love another woman as much as you love your momma”

    of course, i don’t mean it, but i love having them as my sidekicks and can’t think of letting go….yet!

  4. Jennifer Says:

    Letting go of Nathan. What? I don’t understand that language. I don’t want to hear any of that none sense :) Maybe just maybe when he turns 25 then I start listening to that ! J/K.

    Great post. I’m sure Ill be looking for advise on that issue in the future.

  5. Pete Wilson Says:

    We’re with you in the all boys club. Not even tempted to try for a girl here!

  6. Christy Says:

    You’re a wonderful mother to your boys! Boys definitely have different challenges just as girls have different challenges. I love reading your blog and hearing how you want to be the best, godly mother to your boys.

  7. Shawna Says:

    Your boys make me want to have boys! You’re a great mom, Jenn!!!

  8. Kathy Says:

    Hi! I am a mom of three boys, just about the same ages as yours, 5, 3 and 10 1/2 months. I am still coming to terms with never having a daughter. I love my boys, I don’t know what life would be like without each one of them, but I can’t believe I will never have a daughter. I would love to chat one day…

  9. Mom Says:

    I love you, Heath, and those 3 boys! No girls??? No problem! I may not be the saint that Sandra is, but I’m still learning about all this parenthood stuff – even though all of you are grown!

  10. Jenni Catron Says:

    Jenn, you are an amazing mom! I can’t begin to understand the challenges, emotions, joys and pains you face as a mom of three boys, but you do it with grace and godliness.

  11. Christen Says:

    I am not sure how I got to your blog, but this post is exactly how I feel about my 4 girls! I just knew one day I would have that football player, but God had another plan for me. All girls! Wow, the drama! I would’nt change it for anything, but I know how you feel about never having that little girl, in my case, my little boy! Thank God that he has blessed us with healthy children! God is good isn’t he!? Take care, and I have had fun looking through your blog.

  12. Brandi L Says:

    i know this is something we’ve talked about before but it just hit me fresh reading it again. i was thinking of all the wonderful women i know (mostly older) who have all boys. i have noticed something very special about women who have raised all boys. maybe it’s the fact that after surviving such a feat, they have an extra strength about them, but sometimes i really wonder what comes first….is it that God decided to pick them as a mom of all boys because they had something special, or that they become that way after….i don’t know. not to minimize a mom of all girls, or both. when i think about you (and me, i hope) i pray that one day our boys will really have the right role model of what a woman should be like, and that this would motivate them in making the right decision about their future wife.
    you have to admit it’s liberating to laugh at body noises, now that we are “allowed” to. :-)


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