I love being at the Dickson Campus for Crosspoint…except for the fact that I am always a week behind on the sermon. It never bothered me much except for this week. When I was reading what all of you wrote about Sync and I could not relate. Well, I could relate but I had not heard the message. I had such high hopes for Sunday and honestly, I was a little afraid of being let down. However, Pete did not disappoint. The new series is Sync and it is about syncing our lives with God. Truly, I am excited about this series as I feel I am in the season of life where I need to hear it. There were a couple statements yesterday that really stood out to me. I will be sharing them trough the week but here is the first.
I am addicted to on and I am afraid of what I will find out about me if I turn it off.
This has really messed with me a lot over the last 24 (well not quite 24) hours. Why? Well, I am so comfortable being pulled in a million directions. I actually do better when I have a full plate. A good example of this would be to explain to you how my life looked when I met Heath. I was working a full time job (8 – 5). On Monday nights I taught a dance class, Tuesday night I took dance. Wednesday night I led a youth Bible study, Thursday I took dance. Friday night I went to a local coffee house where our church did worship starting at 7, then I drove downtown to another coffee house for another worship time that started between 9 and 10 at night. Add another coffee house stop on the way home and I was rolling in somewhere between 1 and 2 in the morning. Saturdays I would recoup a little but was always busy that night with something. Then Sundays I would be at church at least half the day and then find friends to hang with the rest of the time. I was NEVER home. Even worse, I was never really with Christ.
Even though I had church and even coffee house worship (which was fabulous) it wasn’t enough. I was terrified of coming into a quiet time with God. I loved worship, and I still do. I always feel I am able to engage with God during those time, bare my heart and let myself feel free to Him. Yet in the quiet moments, with me and a Bible, I was so scared of what I would learn about myself. I was a youth leader and still could not find the time to quiet myself before my God. Why is it so hard to come before the Savior? The God who knows all my crap, all my failings, all my lies and deceits and still loves me, still calls me His own?
It is true, I am addicted to on. I fill my day with everything but quiet time still. I come up with excuses like the laundry has to be done or dinner needs to be planned. The truth is that I simply shy away from time with God…and I am desperately yearning for it. The one thing I know I need, the one thing that I know will fulfill me and I side step it like a dirty puddle on the sidewalk. At the end of service a Josh Wilson song was sung. It is called ‘Somethings Got to Change’. I had tears in my eyes the entire time it played. Take some time to listen to this. When you click on the link below it will give you the version that was preformed at the Nashville Campus.
It echoes my heart completely. So now what? Do I keep side stepping that puddle as though it is unfit for me or do I run and jump in it like a little child? Starting today I plan to make a change. While the children are napping I will be reading my Bible and seeking God, quietly. No radio, phone calls…just me and Him. I can’t wait to see what I learn about Him as I begin to purposefully set aside time each day.
Tell me, are you addicted to on?