I don’t like to sweat. ever. thankyouverymuch. Any amount of moisture on my face should be from a washcloth, or shower, or something where water is involved. This last weekend I put away my fear of sweating as Heath and I took our older children (5 and 3) on a one night camping trip. And for those wondering, Heath and the boys can camp for several nights. Me…well I am not an outdoor friendly kind of gal. However, as we put up our tent and as sweat was running down my face (because it is so hot here) I realized how much being a mom has changed me.
Being a mom, I have done things I never thought I would and things I never knew I could. Being a mother is uncomfortably comfortable. There is something terrifying knowing that three little boys (and sometimes a hubby) depend on my ability to care and nurture them. And there is something so sweet in knowing that my kiss on their little booboo can heal them. I waver between being the super mom who can pack lunches with speed, usher wild children into the vehicle and get everyone to school on time and the simple mom who enjoys the little laughs, first steps and smiles. I am constantly in awe of how children see joy and peace in the world and how in their eyes I am perfectly made.
Each of my children have taught me (and continue to teach me) so many things. Isaiah taught me to lean on God heavily. We were surprised by the timing of his conception and realized we had no clue how to be parents. I prayed and cried to God often as God created in me a mother’s heart. Joel has taught me how to laugh. Most of friends would call me ‘serious’…because I am. Joel has taught me to enjoy the moment life has given me. Silas has taught me that peace can abound in all situations. Being in and out of the doctors with Silas could have given us anxiety and worry. However, he has just a wonderful joy and peace about him and I chose to follow his lead.
So what does motherhood mean to me? Change. It is really not possible to write one post on how much motherhood has changed me, though. I do know this, I would rather sweat often than to miss out on the life of my boys. Yes, I am changing…and I look forward to how I change in the future!