at 8:30 in the morning…it is Tuesday ( it was yesterday)…the day Joel goes to preschool. You just don’t call at that time as I am ALWAYS packing him up and getting him out the door.
But it rang anyway, and I still answered it (mostly because Joel picked it up and I had no choice). It was my mom. (Ummm, hello, I know you know I am getting Joel ready.) The first words she said were ‘don’t panic’. Now am I the only person who actually panics when someone tells me ‘don’t panic’. Thoughts always run wild through my mind and I have come up with the worst case scenarios for everything by the time they explain what I am not supposed to panic about.
Mom told me she was on her way to the hospital that my grandfather had been taken there last night via ambulance. I didn’t say anything. Panic was so far from my mind…fear was at the forefront. You should know my grandfather is in his 80’s and he is a very active man. I love him with all my heart…as do my boys. He is one of the greatest men I have ever known. The idea that something would be wrong was numbing. It came out of nowhere…I had just spoken to my grandmother last night and he was fine.
I cried. There is no other way to put it. I cried for the unknown but more I just cried because I didn’t have answers and I couldn’t make it ok. I often tell my husband that there will come a day when my grandparents are no longer here and I just want to enjoy all the time I have with them. While his situation is not life threatening, it made me realize how much I loved him and would miss him when that day comes.
It also made me think about how grateful I am that God has placed so many people in my life. Grief is difficult but if you never knew love, grief would never be needed. I would rather feel grief often than to have never felt loved at all…and loved is what I feel when I think of my grandparents.