While at church yesterday morning, our youth minister was saying a prayer to close the service. During that prayer he said something that hit me hard. It was the kind of hit that smacks you upside the head and you think where in the world did that come from? Part of his prayer was that we could have the courage to trust God. Whoa – I mean I guess I trust God, right? Sure, as long as things are going well, as long as I see results quickly, as long as it is an easy thing. But do I REALLY trust God with everything. The simple answer is no. Oh, how it hurts to say that. I know the politically correct Christian answer is to say yes but my heart knows so different. Why is it so hard to trust Him? He has been through every step of pregnancy, delivery and raising of my three boys. He has been with me as I walked through cancer with my mom, twice. He carried me when sorrow overtook me as my grandmother went home to be with her Creator. He provided me a wonderful man to become my best friend and husband when I could not trust that anyone would love me for who I am. All of that and yet I can’t muster the courage to trust him?
It got me thinking on it a little deeper. Sometimes words like courage and trust are just that, words. What do they mean?
Courage: a quality of spirit that enables you to face danger or pain without showing fear, fearless
Trust: reliance on the integrity, strength, ability, surety of a person or thing
Courage is what Joel has when he jumps off his fort that is 4 feet or more off the ground. Trust is what Isaiah has when he follows Heath into the wilderness for an overnight camping trip. Neither of them asks questions and neither is worried about the outcome. Regardless of how much could go wrong, they have courage and trust.
I am challenged. I want to have courage to trust God in every situation. He is never changing, he is the same yesterday, today and forever.