As I sit here to type this entry I must admit to you that I feel distracted. Life has been incredibly busy the last few weeks. I never meant to leave the blog for that long! And yet, it was a perfect break. Sometimes I need to get away from writing to see new things. January was filled with some great moments and some hard moments. We found our way back to our groove of school mornings and homework filled evenings. To say that January was busy would be an understatement of the year! However, I truly believe we are in the best place we have been in a while as a family. I made a couple goals for this year (more to come on that to come) and I truly feel excited about the following year.
So I am back (to those of you still reading!). I probably will not post everyday anymore, though. Look for new posts on Mondays and Fridays!
Let me give you a few facts about our favorite couple to double date with:
* They can and do stay up later than us most every night
* Their stories can keep us laughing for days
* They always let us choose the place to eat
*They are in the 80’s
My grandparents have more life in them than I do at times. They have wisdom that only comes with years. My grandfather served in two different wars and the stories he tells us mesmerize me. I am always sucked in as they recount how they purchased their first house and eventually came to be where they are now. They grew up on farms and now live in a wealthy part of the state. My grandmother could not carry a child so they adopted…twice!
When Heath and I were first dating, we would go out to their house and have a double date. They would brag to all their friends that their granddaughter was coming. I would brag to all my friends I was going to visit them. During that time our relationship grew from family to friendship. My grandmother gave me a Bridal lunch at a Bed & Breakfast in Brentwood and attended every bridal shower I had. She also attended my baby showers. Our wedding gift was money to purchase a washer and dryer. The gifts were wonderful but I have to admit to you that their time was more precious than any other gift. During our first year of marriage our budget was tight. Going out to eat was something that was a treat. My grandparents loved for us to come and eat with them. So about once a month we visited them. We would start with dinner and end with dominos and laughter.
After the boys were born we were not able to visit as often but we try to make it a priority. The other week my parents kept the boys and we went out just the four of us again…something I do not think we have done in years. We arrived around 2 and went to lunch (or dinner for my grandparents) and then headed back to their house. We played dominos and listened to stories. Around 7 that night my grandfather asked if we were ready for supper…off to a pizza place for supper!
Last night we took the boys out to their house for dinner and to visit them. For the first time, my grandfather shared about the war with Isaiah. He showed him medals and patches and even let Isaiah wear one of his hats. I saw pictures I had never seen and heard new stories while we sat on the couch together. Isaiah soon jumped up from the couch to go play and my grandfather and I continued to talk (or rather I continued to listen).
And then he stood up.
And the realization that he is growing older washed over me. He is weaker…more frail. His hands are often shaking and he walks much slower. And I felt older…in a way I can’t fully explain. Yet his eyes have the same sparkle they did when I was a little girl. When Silas is sitting on his lap he looks as if he was made to have little boys surround him.
Double dates now include the boys. My grandmother still brags to her friends that her granddaughter is coming. She also takes any chance she is given to tell everyone that the little boys sitting at her table are her great grandchildren! And I am still bragging on them as not just my grandparents but some of my best friends.
Taken on our last double date with them at Pie in the Sky Pizza!
Being the oldest sibling, I was the first child to ‘move out’ of my parents house. I can still remember how hard it was to tell my parents I was moving a little over an hour away. At that time the distance seemed so great. Of course, we soon realized that the distance was extremely short and we would see each other often. My sister now lives over 8 hours away and my brother is off at college out of state. I think I just always believed my family would always be in Nashville.
June 30 of this year was the day my father was laid off. I can still remember him sharing the news with joy rather than bitterness. He truly believed that God was in control and that he was being given a gift…time with mom. He firmly believed that God would provide for his family and that God would open the doors to a new job in His time. My dad remained faithful to that…and I learned much from his quietness these last few months. He searched this area for a new position but to no avail. He either didn’t have all the credentials or he was over qualified. He began looking elsewhere…even out of state! As December drew to a close he was offered a job…almost 4 hours away. It was the best Christmas gift ever, he would have a steady job with a good company.
I have to tell you it is completely bitter sweet. The moments of happiness alternate with sadness so quickly it can make my stomach turn. We are all entering into a new phase of our relationships. I am entering in a new phase as a daughter and mother. Sometimes it is hard because I want to cry and laugh and I just can’t get them out at the same time. And I feel totally selfish…and childish even. There was a comfort knowing that my parents were so close.
And then, I realize I am just fooling myself. It is not about distance. My in laws (whom I love dearly and count as important to me as any other family) live 10 minutes from me. It is not about relationships, my boys know and love my sister and they only see her a couple times a year. It is not about babysitters or last minute help.
It is simply that I will miss them. Bottom line, I just never saw them moving away. As Heath and I built our family here I just always believed they would be here for the long haul. And now, here I am as a child letting go of my parents in a new way. A way that is stretching me and causing me to go through a myriad of emotions. A way that is having me rethink how I will walk through 2009.
