I am a pretty cut and dry person. Sometimes it is an asset like when I am fed up with service and need to cancel a subscription. Other times it can be the death of me. The phrase ‘I’m done’ is often spoken in my house because I just get to a point of disconnect and then I break it off. I have always been like this…with things and people. Once I feel wronged or betrayed I basically pull back and do not engage in conversation. It is probably the character trait I detest the most about myself.
Lately I have been trying to allow grace and forgiveness to surface in my heart rather than allowed hurt and hatred to take over. It is a battle and some days the fight seems endless. A couple weeks ago this battle took place again and it was completely unexpected.
The picture above is of my purse…which finally had enough tugging from little boys, diapers jammed in when I forgot my diaper bag and fashionable coordination! We are not too concerned with material things here (or at least we are trying not to be!) so it should be a simple item to simply toss away. At first I was upset because, as I rationalized in my mind, it was my only brown purse. How selfish! However, is the case most of the time, there is something much deeper than the actual item that causes me to pause.
This purse was given to me Isaiah’s first Christmas…almost 6 years ago now. It was given with love and I can still remember her reason was because she figured a new mom would need something that was fashionable but that I would not spend the money on myself now that I had Isaiah. I have used this purse so often since that Christmas. I don’t talk to that person or even see her anymore. There has been a lot of heartache around the loss of her in our lives. There has been a lot of bitterness and resentment and hurt. There have been more tears shed than I will ever care to express. I have spoken words laced with hate and I have cried tears tinged with betrayal. I have also sobbed tears full of emptiness.
Sometimes voids can not be filled or replaced. For some reason I was never able (and am still unable) to completely cut this person from my mind…regardless of the ease my heart might feel. I simply placed on a lid on that void and hoped to never have to take it off again…I would just build upon it. When that purse broke the lid was ripped off my void and I felt anew the loss and hurt. It brought back every hurtful word and every tear cried. I was angry at myself at first…I mean how could I allow myself to reprocess all of this again.
What is the one area I have kept God from in my heart? If you thought the void of this person you would be right. Somehow I thought that if I kept Him from searching that portion that I would be ok…and I am not…I am far from it. It has been something amazing to allow God to come and search my heart. I am learning to trust him with the moments I feel ‘I’m done’ rather than fall on my own strengths. I am feeling his peace in the moments of tears. I am sensing his healing as I learn to close the void.
What or Who do you need to let go of?
A couple weeks ago my sister sent an email to my family. Here is a portion of it
First, I want to encourage all of us to really think about what we give each other this year. Answer some questions before you go buy something for anyone.
- Is this something they will really use?
- Is it something that will either, a, be consumed, or b, be valuable and last a long time?
- Is it something that is needed?
- What are the things that the other person would really love to receive?
I think we all get caught up in getting people things that are big and expensive, as a way to try and show our love for each other. Which is kind of funny, because especially over the last few years, I have seen each of our love for each other displayed in amazing ways. Let’s use the gifts this year as a token of that, but not get caught up in the gift itself.
She then suggested that we make a wish list on Amazon. You can find just about anything on there. Sometimes the quantities are large, though. We are just using our lists for ideas. Her ideas are phenomenal. She has things from razor blades and laundry detergent to granola bars and jeans. If they don’t have it on Amazon, you can easily add their Universal Wish List button. It is a button that goes on your toolbar. As you are on other sites you can add that item to your wish list. On the wish list it will just state that you go to another site. You can even add places you might like to have money donated (NURU tops my sister’s list!).
Christmas is being revolutionized in our house this year. Heath and I still plan to buy each of the boy’s a gift but I doubt they will receive more than one or two from us. We are thinking more and more about how to buy what people need rather than what we think they would like. I get excited when I think about this year’s gift giving. It used to stress me out. With the Amazon lists I have several ideas!
How do you decide what to give people?
Works for me! Check out more ideas here!
This came in the mail yesterday
As soon as I saw the envelope I knew what it was. Holly sent me a copy of the soundtrack to the movie Twilight! I have listened through this CD so many times already! I am a fan of Paramore already so I knew I would love their two songs on the record. However, it took me by surprise to find this song on there! It has quickly become my favorite CD.
However, it has me thinking about friendships a lot. I often say that friendships are what you make of them. I met Holly almost 5 years ago. I had joined a mom’s group at church, just given birth to Joel and didn’t know anyone at the church really. Eventually, Holly and I would go on to be go leaders with a group of women in the mom’s group. She is one of the people that I respected (and still do!) as she was quick to tell you that she did not have all the answers. She would dive into a study looking to see what she could learn. However, what always stuck with me the most was how she treated her daughter (and then daughters). They were a priority. It was a new idea to me and one that sticks with me still. I learned so great lessons by watching and listening to her.
Friendships are a continual evolution, whether we like it or not. I have many friendships that experienced a season of closeness but now we just keep in touch every so often. Those friends are still important and made an impact in my life.
Tell me, do you think friendships are always changing and why do you think that is?
I learn so much from Heath. One of the things that consistently amazes me with Heath is the way he serves. Some people might call him a ‘behind the scenes guy’ or a ‘quiet server’. I really think he is a ‘Christ Server’. If a tree falls down in someone’s yard, Heath would be the first one there to chop it up. If a house needs building or repairing, you will find him in his element. If a table needs to be moved on or off stage, he is happy to assist. Yet, he does not do it for the accolades from his peers. He does not do it to garner attention to himself. He does do it to honor Christ. The picture below is from a Habitat for Humanity Build. The beautiful thing about the picture is that I know Heath is there in that moment of building but I can not find him. The thing is, he would see this picture and not once look to see where he is place.
He is not the person to jump out there and lead a team…but if asked he will step into that role and serve to the best of his ability. He is not the person to stand up and speak in front of others, but if asked he will use his words to bring attention and praise to God. His ego is not driven by ‘thank yous’ or ‘way to go’ instead his heart is driven with the idea of serving God and serving others.
Here are a few things I have learned from him about serving:
* It is ok to say no to people – sometimes we feel guilted into serving in an area that simply does not match our strengths or gifts. Sometimes we feel guilted into serving in an area that would mean placing our family in a distant second or third. We all have the choice to say no in those times.
* It is ok to serve without accolades – this one took me a long time to learn because I do like the be told thank you. However, there is a greater joy that comes from serving with a heart that is serving unto God rather than unto man.
* It is ok to step back and have a season of ‘time off’. I learned this one the hard way…through burnout. Sometimes we just give and give of ourselves (and mostly for the words of man) that we run dry. I think when you are serving unto Christ and not man you know the times you need a break.
*Your family is greatest place of serving that can exist.
One of the best services he does is by serving his family. I am not talking about bringing home a paycheck. I am talking about placing us as a priority in his life. He still does things for himself (hunting/camping) but he also the dad who will sit at the kitchen table working on math homework with Isaiah, wrestling on the floor with Joel or throwing a ball with Silas. He is man who still years later will sit with my for 2 hours and listen as I ramble about everything I have thought about for two weeks. He is the guy who still stops at his mom’s house every so often for a cup of coffee or breakfast (thanks Pappy!) just to spend time with his parents. He is the guy who has had to make some gut wrenching decisions in order to protect the people he loved more than himself. Family is not just important to him, family is first and final.
If children model the behavior they see exhibited in their parents, I pray they will have a heart that will be molded like Heath’s. A dad who loves his children unconditionally, a husband who loves his wife through flaws, tears and laughter and a man who serves others as He is serving Christ.
Shooting the discs…in heels no less!
I suppose those two words do not fit all that well together…for most people. However, heels with anything will describe me. This is how spent a portion of my afternoon last weekend. MY friend Ashley wanted to go skeet shooting and talked me into it. I was quite nervous at first but after the first shot, I found myself having a great time. It might have been the company (Heath, Ashley and Heath’s friend, Greg) or a warm day or a day without the boys. Whatever the reason, I enjoyed myself enough to admit I would be willing to do it again. I hit three discs…I think I shot 12 times or so.
My always gorgeous Ashley and me with our guns…better yet, with the guy’s guns.
We did not finish our day there…we headed off to the movie theater to see the new movie, Body of Lies. Ashley had been at my house a few weeks ago and we saw the previews for the movie. Immediately we knew we would want to see it. The movie did not disappoint me. I am a true action movie girl at heart…you need to talk me into going to see most chick flicks. This movie was full of suspense, mystery, action and love. I love to dissect movies, even days later. This was a movie that keeps me thinking. I can not wait to share more with you soon.
We went on to The Cantina, a Mexican place that we all love. Seriously, if you live in Nashville and have not gone yet you need to! We filled up on Nachos with salsa and cheese dip and other yummy food. It was fun to sit back a laugh and talk. We attempted to go hear a live band but that did not pan out. Instead, we found our way to Fidos, a coffeehouse. I have such fond memories of Fidos (Liv, Lea – remember). I spent many a Friday night there with a group that I would run around with. I had a standing order (of course). It did feel a little different to walk into Fido’s and not see the regular people making the coffee…but it has been almost 8 years since I made my way there last!
This was the design on my mocha…it stayed like that until I was almost finished!
We really had a great time. It is rare that Heath and I would do some like that…at least all at one time. We laughed at first and said it might be the most fun we have had out since we got married. We just don’t ever spend the money on ourselves. Sharing the night with friends was a huge plus.
Of all the posts I have ever written, this one is by far the one that can have the biggest impact on the lives of people. When Anne mentioned she was looking for people to help her with a secret mission I was intrigued. However, as I read her post I got excited. It seemed to me like this was something that was going to be huge…not for her or me…but for God’s glory. I of course jumped at the chance…having no clue what I was getting into.
I actually cried when I read her email to me telling me what we would be doing. My heart aches for the children in other countries that don’t have enough. For the children that work in the fields because either their parents can not work or are deceased. My first trip out of the country was to Mexico where I saw these things first hand…at just 16 years old. I never forget those memories. They are etched permanently in my mind.
Whether or not I ever visit another country is not relevant. I still know that needs exist. I still know that poverty and hunger grip the lives of more children around the world than I can fathom. I still know that God will use so those that are willing to help these children. Enter Soles4Souls and their new project 50,000 shoes in 50 days. To me, that is what the project is…God using all of us to make a difference in the lives of children who need it.
In short, they are looking to raise funds for 50,000 pairs of shoes in 50 days. Everyone that donates will be entered into a drawing to hand deliver the shoes to Mexico. For just $5.00 you can give the gift of 2 pairs of shoes to children…just $5! I think I spend twice that (at least) for sandals for one of the boys! What can you do? Go to the site and make a donation is a good first step…but don’t stop there. Email your friends and family. Join the facebook group and invite your friends to join. Critics are already watching…and I can not wait to see how God can use this to blow their socks off! 
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
SOLES4SOULS™ INC., THE SHOE CHARITY, LAUNCHES LARGE SCALE CHARITY CHALLENGE USING SOCIAL MEDIA
WWW.50000SHOES.COM Website to Target Bloggers and Social Media Users In Effort to Raise Funds for 50,000 Pairs of New Shoes in 50 Days
Nashville, TN — November 7, 2008 — Soles4Souls, the international charity dedicated to providing free footwear to those in desperate need, has announced plans to launch a new fundraising website, www.50000shoes.com. The charity is challenging bloggers and social media users to raise funds for 50,000 pairs of new shoes in 50 days.
Through the new world of blogging, emailing, twittering, and through many other forms of online media, the non-profit hopes to achieve not only the fundraising goal, but also to spread their mission far and wide. The Soles4Souls www.50000shoes.com charity challenge will be live on Monday, November 10, 2008 and end on Wednesday, December 31, 2008.
“We have been utilizing the basic Web-based marketing tools such as e-mail blasts, social networking and YouTube videos. However, this website, www.50000shoes.com, is the natural evolution of our viral marketing plan,” said Soles4Souls Founder and CEO, Wayne Elsey.
“A strong grass-roots effort, combined with an effective web-based social marketing platform, will allow Soles4Souls to form online community in a creative manner while being effective with raising funds and helping those in need,” he said.
Both the tech savvy and the computer challenged can visit www.50000shoes.com to download their choice of four (4) Soles4Souls banners ad and blog widgets. Using the tools provided, users will be able to easily email, blog, or twitter the challenge to friends, family and co-workers as well as ask everyone to continue spreading the message.
“This is a huge challenge to meet a huge need. We want to virally attack the issues of poverty and make it simple for the end user to play a role in it,” Elsey stated.
Donating is easy and takes just a click and a couple of minutes. It requires no shipping, no wrapping and no trips to the post office. The monetary donation is small with $5.00 buying two pairs of new shoes. Anyone can click and give, and all donations are tax-deductible.
After 50,000 pairs have been donated, one person (with a guest of their choosing) will be selected at random to deliver the shoes they purchased to someone in need on one of Soles4Souls’ trips to Mexico!
I am a little late posting the winner…I am so sorry about that. You will soon hear all the reasons that keep me from blogging. The winner of the gift card giveaway is
#258 – Molly.
She gets a gift card to Walgreens.
Thanks to all who entered!
