Our good deeds or His doings?

“There is no domestic or foreign policy that can change the human heart”

That is a quote from a sermon of Pete’s this last Sunday. That one, simple sentence is rocking my core. I have been thinking of all the things that people do for change. We take up politics, we go on a mission trip, we serve at church, we donate to an organization….we, we, we. Do you see that, we keep interjecting ourselves into everything. How many times do we stop and instead of belittling elected officials we choose to pray for them? How many times do we take the time to pray for the people we leave behind on our way home from a mission trip? When we donate or serve, are we doing it because we are serving God or simply man…and looking for a compliment or audible sound of encouragement?

There are days that I fall into everyone of those things except prayer. Days where I selfishly believe that because of me, I am making a difference in someone’s life. The truth is, without Christ, I am nothing. NOTHING! Yes, I may possess certain skills or characteristics but without Christ I am lost. God has allowed me the opportunity to see His light, His grace, His love. And what do I do? I make it all about a systems of rules, regulations and even (gasp) ministries! Even with the best approach or resources a ministry is simply a tool.

I have said many times before that when a leader begins to think that a ministry is ‘theirs’, it will fail. Ministry, regardless of children’s or adults, is a tool that God can use. We just have to be willing to step out of the way and allow Him to move. And let me tell you, I mess that one up big time! I am constantly having to rethink where I am serving and how at church. I am always evaluating my heart. It isn’t because I am looking for God to tell me something new (although I love it when He does) it is to make sure I am allowing God to use me while I serve.

God does the heart change. You and I may get the opportunity to be preset when it happens or simply be a marker on the path to change. We might not even know we influenced it. There are many people in my life who many never know the impact that their listening, serving or grace meant to me on my way to Christ. God used everyone of those people to weave a path that I could follow to Him. The day I stood in front of my peers and expressed my desire to live for Christ was truly a public moment. However, the moment in which I made that decision was a private moment. It was shared not with my parents, not my best friend, not a pastor. It was shared with a Father who held his child as she cried tears of repentance on a dirty floor at a ski lodge. The day I was baptized my friends and pastor all stood with me as I cried similar tears mixed with joy and awe, that God would still choose me. However, even though the day was shared, the decision to get there was one that came from pouring out my heart with every emotion known to man to a God that could not just handle but relieve me of it.

I think I often hide behind ‘good deeds’. I pretend like my strengths will make the difference on someone’s life. I believe, and pray, that God will use them for His glory. And yet, I pray he uses my faults and mistakes too. I am not perfect. I totally fail at times….and everyone can see that. If God can use all of me, then I want to be His tool, His opportunity, His chance at bringing someone to the arms of the Father I love.

Thankful Thursday

Yesterday I spent my morning at the main campus of Crosspoint Community. I was working on printing curriculum and activities for all the classes for our campus. While there, I came away with some things than caused my heart to be thankful.

* I love the staff of our church. I am always amazed at their abilities. They all seem to have a million things on their plates and yet they all smile and take time to say hello. I realized that I do miss seeing some of these people on a more regular basis but I was grateful for the people I see at our campus now.

* Our volunteers ROCK! Taking time to print, organize and cut the items needed for this month was a little daunting at first. I realized anew how much our volunteers mean to not just our children but the church as a whole. I feel humbled to serve alongside them.

*I am thankful to call our campus home…and miss the main campus all at the same time. It is a special gift to still be able to visit the office and see familiar faces.

*I also had cause to celebrate all our teachers. They have done a phenomenal job of creating a welcoming atmosphere for children, a safe place for them. Without wonderful volunteers, our children’s ministry would not exist.

*Add to that, I am thankful for Jenni…she juggled meetings and managing a construction crew today with grace and focus (and I am not surprised at that). She inspires me daily and I respect her so much. Pete also made me grateful that I was not the only one a little impatient with the printer…although I don’t think I printed my item more than twice! Oh – Pete, you inspire me too!

Thanks main campus for letting me come in yesterday and share some of your time. It felt good to visit back home for a little bit.

WFMW – Free Family Movies

It is summer here…which means it is hot, school is out and it is time to entertain the kids. Really, I don’t mind summer. I actually love it. We fill our summer up with things that we normally would not do during the school year. We get the opportunity hang out with friends we might not regularly see during the year and do things like visiting a local dairy! This summer we plan to participate in Regal’s free family movies! They happen on Tuesday and Wednesday in the mornings. But did you hear me….free! Several of my friends have done this before and I am looking forward to partaking this year with the boys. Best of all, you know the movies ahead of time and you could even rent them first just to make sure you would approve of them. Want more info, check out their site here.

My mood in song

Anyone that knows me well will tell you that I love music! I analyze lyrics and listen for the beat. I also drive me husband crazy because I will read the entire little book that comes with the CD – liner notes and all. Music can really make or break me, depending on the day. When I received this survey the other day from a friend I thought it was perfect for me. Here is a small glimpse into my music world….as it is today! Because really, my tomorrow, it could all be different!

If you’re happy the song you find yourself loving is?
Right now it is Pocketful of Sunshine from Natasha Bettingfield

If your getting ready to go out that song is?
Something new and upbeat…something like Nine in the Afternoon by Panic at the Disco

If your trying to learn about yourself that song is?
I Will Not Be Moved by Natalie Grant or anything by Addison Road…love this group!

Your favorite movie song?
Iris from City of Angels by the Goo Goo Dolls

If your feeling let down that song is?
Irvine by Kelly Clarkson or Sick Cycle Carousel by Lifehouse

If you just want to bust out in some sick dance moves?
The days of dance moves are long gone….dancing now involves jumping up and down to whatever song comes on the ipod with a good beat…oh, and one child in my arms!

If you are feeling like you want to just mellow out that song is?
Hallelujah – the original version, although Kate Voegele’s is amazing!

If you are looking for encouragement?
I love I Shall Believe by Sheryl Crow

What songs do you like?

Thankful Thursday – My Boys

There have been posts all over the internet about this. I almost didn’t post it myself. The reason is not because my heart does not ache but more because I was not interested in raising my stats for the day from this tragedy. Yet, as I was trying to write some of the reasons I am thankful, this article kept coming back to me. As a mom of boys, there have been days when I struggled with not having a little girl. I admit it, I am totally selfish at times. And by selfish I mean, cry myself to sleep wondering why God choose to give me all boys and not a girl. I would wonder why when I had wanted a daughter for so long God would not give me someone to shop with and have tea parties with and so on. Lately, God has really been working on my heart about that. I have seen some friends deal with infertility issues and I am realizing how blessed we are to have three healthy boys. Then, reading an article where a child is lost, I begin to realize anew the blessings that God has brought into my life. Here are just a few of the reasons I am thankful for my boys today.

*They keep me young – I have learned how to have energy from sunrise until well after sunset.

*They make me old mature – I have learned to grow up, put others first and care about the condition of someone’s heart rather than the outward appearance.

* They cause me to be grateful for the men who came before them – Each one of the boy’s middle names comes from another man in our family. Isaiah is named for Heath’s grandfather, Joel for my father and Silas for Heath’s step father. All of these men are a huge part of who we are as people, spouses and parents.

* They have taught me to laugh – In high school I was considered the serious one…and in most respects, I still am. It is hard to get me to laugh out loud…but the boys can do it almost daily.

* They will have the opportunity to carry on their father’s name – As Heath and I married, we made some goals for our marriage. One was to ‘make right’ his last name. He wanted the name to be one that was full of integrity, honor, truth and trust. God has given us three opportunities to carry on his name.

What causes you to give thanks? Read what others are saying here!

WFMW – Saving on Gifts

I shop all year long, really. I love it. Part of the reason I love it is I love to go on a hunt for a good deal. Every Sunday I am looking over all the ads from the paper, pairing them with coupons and making a list. But it does not stop there. I am always on the lookout for a ‘perfect’ gift for someone. As soon as Christmas is finished, I am shopping for Christmas the following year. We budget $25 a month for all our Christmas gifts. For those of you who don’t want to add it up, it is a total of $300 a year. This includes not just gifts for our extended family but for the boys too. Add into that the amount of gift wrap and $300 seems to disappear quickly. However, by budgeting that amount every month, if I see something in June on clearance that would be perfect for someone, I pick it up then. Shopping a little at a time affords us the opportunity to give better gifts than if we didn’t start shopping until December. In order not to lose the gifts I purchase, I keep them all together in a chest in our room. Last year I added up my savings from all the gifts we purchased to see what we were saving show my husband what a good shopper I was and we had saved close to $250! Shopping a little at a time, budgeting all year long and looking for deals really works for me!

Eyes of My Boy

Conversation with Isaiah (5 and 1/2) tonight.

Isaiah: Mom, you look pretty tonight…prettier than the sunset.

Me: Wow, thanks Isaiah. (Looking out the corner of my eye to his father with the mixed expression on my face that said ‘where did he think up that’ and ‘why didn’t you say that’.

Isaiah: Yeah, but I guess that isn’t really nice to say.

Me: What? (Not nice, it is one of the nicest things ever)

Isaiah: I mean, it sure isn’t nice to the sunset

And there you have it…Isaiah is worried about everyone’s feelings, even the sunset! Just one of the many reasons I love that little guy!

Go check out more Tiny Talk Tuesday for cute things kids say!

Isaiah’s game ball night!

“I won the game ball, I won the game ball”. That was the sentence Isaiah kept repeating (or rather squealing) on Saturday night. He called all his grandparents and even my sister to tell them the news. It was the end of the last inning. His team had two outs and the score was tied with one runner on second base. Let me tell you, this mom’s heart was pounding! I try to be as removed as possible with my emotions from the game but this night was a little different. Isaiah had been up to bat twice before during the game. He was trying something new this game…batting left. He is left handed but after watching him bat once, I felt pretty strongly that they should switch him back right. However, they kept him left for his second time at bat. The last time they moved him back right and it made a big difference. He hit the coach pitch (they get two coach pitches and 2 times off the tee)! He knocked it down the third base line with enough force to bounce over the third base bag. He got all the way to second, his team mate made it come and the referee called it a game. As his coach praised the team for playing well, he called out Isaiah’s name for the game ball. Isaiah beamed. He has had an on and off time on the field this season. It has been a little harder than he imagined as sports take some work for him. I am so proud of him for sticking with the game and trying his best every week! Way to go Isaiah!

Recent Cakes

I have not posted many of my cakes but I wanted to share them with you. Here are some recent ones I have done. Hope you like them!

How do you dress?

Pete did a post yesterday. Anne did a post last week. If you have not heard about the Boobies post, I suggest you check it out. But really, this is my blog, so I am talking about it my own way.

Moms of boys…this is a challenge to you all now.

You are the closest thing your son might have to learn about modesty.

There. I said it. I mean it too.

Especially if you have only boys, like me.

Our boys are bombarded with images and ideals of what makes a woman attractive. Prettiness is becoming a character trait that now replaces values such as integrity, honesty and trustworthiness. As a woman I do want to feel pretty. As the lone female in my house, I want to feel attractive. But in my quest for this, do I miss the chance to teach my boys that the heart is far more beautiful than my figure?

Does this mean I have to wear a loose pair of jeans and sweatshirt that are too big in hopes that no one notices me? No. What it does mean is that I need to put more thought into everything I wear or don’t wear. My boys already see me put on make up when we go out. I am not going to stop putting it on. However, I am more aware of making sure I don’t put it on all the time..and believe me, I used to do that. Running to the store? Yep, make up had to be applied first. Going outside in the backyard? Absolutely I need a good foundation. Laying out by the pool? I could not imagine not having my hair perfectly positioned. I don’t want them to fall into the trap of believe that foundation, mascara and hair spray make me pretty. Even if I am very thankful for concealer and a flat iron on certain days!

I want to be the ‘cool mom’ or the ‘trendy friend’ but at what cost? This really came up on vacation recently. I love a two piece swimsuit. When I am alone or with just Heath, I will most likely have this on. However, when I am with the boys, I don a one piece. (Disclaimer: if you are a mom in a two piece, that is just fine. I just feel that is something that I don’t do…hear my heart, there is no judgment).

I don’t think I am being a prude…I think I am being realistic. Our boys look to us to model what kind of wife they look for in the future. So tell me, would you be satisfied if you son brought you home?